Stress Relievers

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Here are some much needed stress-relievers, the benefit of men mostly.
 
 Stress Reliever  #1
 
Wife : You  always carry my photo in your handbag to the office.  Why?
Hubby : When  there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and  the problem disappears.
Wife : You see,  how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Hubby : Yes, I  see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be  greater than this one?
 
Stress Reliever  # 2
 
Girl: When we  get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your  burden. Boy: It's very  kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles.
Girl: Well  that's because we aren't married yet.

Stress Reliever  # 3
 
Son: Mom, when I  was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat  to a lady. Mom: Well, you  have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I  was sitting on daddy's lap.

Stress Reliever  # 4
 
Wife :       "What's your excuse for coming home at this time of the night?"
Husband :  "Golfing with friends, my dear."
Wife:         "What? At 2 am?!"
Husband:   "Yes, We used night clubs."

Stress Reliever  # 5
 
Father to son  after exam: "Let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend  just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."

Stress Reliever  # 6
 
 A teacher asked  her primary class for sentences using the word "beans"..
"My father grows  beans," said one student.
"My father cooks  beans," said another.
Then little  Johnny spoke up: "We are all human beans.."

Stress Reliever  # 7

Interviewer to  Millionaire: "To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire  to?"
Millionaire: "I  owe everything to my wife."
Interviewer:  "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married  her?" Millionaire: "A  Billionaire"

Stress Reliever  # 8
 
Girl to her  boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever..
The guy replies:  Thanks for the warning.
 
Stress Reliever  # 9
 
A husband was  asked: Do you talk to your wife after sex?
He replied:  Depends, if I can find a phone.

Stress Reliever  # 10
 
Man to! wife on  wedding night: Are you sure I'm the first man you are sleeping  with?
Wife replied: Of  course honey, I stayed awake with all the others!
 
Stress Reliever  # 11
 
Why did they  stop printing PAMELA ANDERSON stamps in the U.S. ?
Answer: Because  people started licking the wrong side.

Stress Reliever  # 12
 
A wife asked her  husband: What do you like most in me - my pretty face or my sexy  body?
He looked at her  from head to toe and replied: I like your sense of humour. _

Stress Reliever  # 13
 
Doctor to his  lady patient: You look terribly weak and exhausted! Are you having your  meals three times a day as I have advised?
Lady replied:  Doctor, I thought you said three males a day.

              Feels better?
                                                                    
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